The school started last Monday (July 16th) after a three-weeks holiday, gradually getting the kids used to their regular schedule again by conducting a half-day school (out by 12.00) and less-hour days (out by 14.00 compared to the usual 16.00). Our kids could only attend the first two days (Monday and Tuesday) and had to skip the rest of the weekdays because we had to make a trip to Singapore (to acquire their staying permits – but that’s another story).Anyway, of course we got curious about their first few hours at school. Lindri seemed to be doing good in her Preschool class (TK A), with 10 old and new classmates. Dhanu is now in the 2nd grade with the same classmates, plus one new boy, which amount to 9 students altogether. However, the stories he brought home from his first couple of days were a bit unnerving.
THE DUTCH
Inggar, a classmate, said to Dhanu that he’s afraid of the Dutch because they kill Indonesian people. Dhanu said it’s not true, maybe in a movie but not real. They went to the class teacher, Bu Lia, for confirmation. Bu Lia said that happened but a long time ago, and now the Dutch people are nice and we are friends and The Netherlands is a nice country. The students didn’t take it easily and Dhanu spent his day being pointed as ‘a killer’. Dhanu came home with this question to his father, Do Dutch people kill Indonesians?
Syb said it used to happen during the war, very long ago, but not anymore now. Dhanu insisted that it’s not a fact and that it only happens in movies.
CATERPILLAR
Dhanu found a leaf with insect eggs on it. He showed it to his friends, saying that a hundred years ago a caterpillar laid these eggs and soon they will hatch and baby caterpillars will emerge. His friends said that he’s being ridiculous; it can't be from one hundred years ago. Juan, a classmate, pried the leaf from Dhanu’s hand and threw it away, then he kicked Dhanu for being ridiculous.
FOOTBALL
On Tuesday, his class was out playing football. The teacher told Dhanu to be the goalkeeper and Axel the coach. Axel got upset and said, “There’s no such thing as a coach in a football game!” Dhanu said there is and Axel didn’t accept that. So they went to the teacher for confirmation. He said, there is indeed a coach in football and would Axel please act as one. Axel didn’t want to; he got angry and all so the teacher told Dhanu to be a coach and Axel the goalkeeper.
During the game, all his friends were pointing at him, saying that he knows nothing about football and that he’s a zero-year-old baby because he’s a coach. He said he didn’t like that but he couldn’t do anything.
On one hand, all these stories are Dhanu’s version. Not that we don’t trust him, but things might get distorted along the way. On the other hand, why would he make up stories like these. If all these are true, perhaps his classmates start picking up on him for whatever reason. But whatever it is, I think I should clarify and ask his class teacher about these incidents. Naturally, an instinct as a mother to protect her offsprings came to me, but I would also like to see him fend for himself and cope with his problems sensibly.
If it's any consolation: at least Dhanu goes to a school with the average of 10 students in a class, so things like these do not go unnoticed. And I hope he can cope well with these schoolyard problems and doesn’t turn reluctant to go to school.
Photo taken by Chica, Amsterdam, summer 2006
wah !
ReplyDeletesegera ketemu sama gurunya aja untuk klarifikasi. anak-anak ini kok kasar sekali ya ? duh semoga dhanu tabah *peluk dhanu*
btw, foto ini bikin aku teringat liburan tahun lalu, 3 anak-anak itu pada ngeceng dengan gaya astaganaga di balkon belakang :))
pada pose2 pake cengdem baru! hahaha! eh ini 2006 atau 2005 sih? *siap2 ngedit*
ReplyDeleteiya, pasti akan kutanya ke gurunya. kalo gak mempan juga, toh aku juga kenal/ tau siapa orang tua masing2 anak itu, jd bisa ngomong langsung juga ke mereka :D
pas dhanu cerita yg axel, syb nanya, apa kamu masih temenan sama axel? iya, katanya. meskipun dia marah2 dan ngata2in kamu? iya, masih temen, kata dhanu. apa dia emang nggak gampang merasa dikecewakan teman ya.. hmm..
Kayaknya perlu tanya2 gurunya tentang bullying, or rather, anti-bullying policy di sekolah itu (kalo blm ada, perlu dibuat!). Di sini sekolah2 cukup ketat soal bullying, ada kesamaan visi murid/guru/ortu tentang apa yg dimaksud bullying dan ada petunjuk step-by-step-nya utk mencegah perilaku/melaporkan seorang bully. Stay strong, Dhanu!
ReplyDelete2006 *ayo edit*
ReplyDeletepas masih di kidsport, luna juga punya temen namanya axel dan kelakuannya juga cenderung kasar. aku bilang sama luna untuk nggak dekat-dekat dengan anak ini.
minggu depannya luna lapor lagi kalo dia masih ditendang sama axel. akhirnya dengan terpaksa aku bilang : kalo dia masih kasar sama luna, luna bales aja. tapi luna nggak boleh cari gara2 duluan sama dia.
abis itu nggak ada cerita apa2 lagi tuh tentang axel :D
Aduh .. kasian Dhanu .. ngga papa nak .. anak2 yang lain malah enggak tau apa2 .. yang sabar ya nak .. >:D<
ReplyDeletehmm ingat ingat... nanti kalo punya anak ga boleh dikasih nama axel... takutnya suka nendangin anak laen.... :)) *joke joke*
ReplyDeletehmmm... aku ga tau lho sejarah ada bullying di sekolah indonesia... Well, kecuali masa2 orientasi saja ya... tapi ini anak tk/sd, jaman itu pernah sih kadang aku dikucilkan dll... tapi aku ingat sekali kalo aku ga peduli... dan temen2 ga ada yang sampe kasar mukul aku, krn aku memang waktu itu tukang pukulnya :)) *another joke, which happen to be true :D*
dan perlakuan kasar malah aku dapet dari guruku, dia suka nybit, mukul, nampar, jewer, sampe biru2...
yang tabah ya dhanu!!! kalo ditendang jangan takut nendang lagi! buktikan kalo kamu kuat!!... yihaaaa....
aduh, susah juga ya mbak...karena Dhanu terlihat lain dari mereka, maka mereka bersikap seperti itu (ya, sebagian anak2 SD memang sudah bisa bersikap rasis).
ReplyDeleteKalau ini hanya sebagian dari cerita Dhanu, kasihan bisa nggak betah sekolah dia nantinya.
Berat juga buat Dhanu. Kasian, anak kecil gak tau apa2 gitu...
ReplyDeleteMungkin sudah saatnya Dhanu belajar gantian nendang anak2 lain :D
Ado kasian banget Dhanu...
ReplyDeleteApa iya backgroundnya rasis kecil2 gini? Kalo iya keterlaluan sekali yah? Jgn2 dari acara2 tv tolol yg selalu bikin stereotype belanda pake baju safari + topi bulat + ngomong aneh? Sedih lho gue bacanya. Tabah yah Dhanu. Belajar sama Tante Chica gimana cara ngibas martil :D :D :D.
ReplyDeletePS: bukannya kemaren2 mereka baik2 sama Dhanu?
Huahahahahahaha !
ReplyDeleteBener Ven, bisa jadi pengaruh dari televisi atau mungkin juga dari orang-orang sekitarnya. Anak kecil kan gampang banget menyerap informasi, sayangnya mereka belum punya filter, jadi semua diserap. Tugasnya orangtua ngasih tau mana yang bener dan mana yang nggak bener.
Semoga Dhanu masih tetap semangat u/ sekolah. U/ Dhanu...maju terus.
ReplyDeleteMbak, yg jadi pertanyaan saya knp anak2 diusia dini udah bisa bersikap kasar atau mengintimidasi?
OOT: foto Dhanu bagus sekaleeeee.
Sorry to hear about the initial hiccups. They will go away eventually, by hook or by crook! Some of the kids have wrong misconceptions about other cultures that need to be addressed, either at home or by the school staff.
ReplyDeletekalo diliat2 dari ceritanya...
ReplyDeleteDhanu kayaknya orangnya cukup sabar dan pemaaf ya?
hebat euy! ^_^
eh, atau udah pasrah? ^^;
jadi teringat Ardi waktu PG asli sebel banget ama Dani yang suka mukul2... pokoknya kalo dia cerita tentang temen2nya selalu akhirannya "Tapi aku nggak suka sama Dani.. Abisnya Dani nakal!"
Pas TK A ternyata sekelas lagi... entah gimana (mungkin karena ibunya sering ngumpul bareng juga) lama2 mereka berdua jadi akrab... malah pernah nginep juga di rumah Dani...
yah, semoga temen2nya Dhanu gitu juga.. berantem sesaat, tapi berteman kemudian... ^_^
chic: sutra diedit :)
ReplyDeleteyik: iya ya, apalagi karena persepsi orang ttg bullying itu beda2. yg 'cuma' main kata2an spt ini bisa dikira nggak bikin sakit..
ju: makasih tante ajuu >:D<
djo: bullying jaman aku sekolah dulu kayaknya cuma kerasa pas smp, kalo main gang-gang an terus 'digencet' ama geng kakak kelas atau seangkatan :P
bert: sejak di amsterdam dulu pun dhanu dan teman2 sepantarannya udah aware bahwa ada perbedaan ras. tapi bagi mereka itu cuma matter-of-fact, dan nggak ada prejudice atau stereotyping dari mereka. nah beda di indonesia, di mana masih jelas orang lebih suka melihat appearance ketimbang performance orang. dan - juga dari pembicaraan dengan lady day - orang kita memang belum dapat menerima perbedaan (fisik, pendapat, dll) dan menyikapinya dengan baik.
tp semoga ini segera berlalu.. toh dia masih harus akan bersama teman2nya itu terus sampai 7 tahun ke depan!
ven: kemaren2 mereka baik sama dhanu, iya. but perhaps the novelty wears off :P ya sejak datang juga memang dhanu 'dibedakan' karena ngomongnya masih lucu. pas ujian akhir dan dhanu dapet giliran baca, temen2nya udah ancang2 nutupin mulut, nahan ketawa. dhanu sampe mbacanya di bawah meja, karena temen2nya cekikikan mulu denger dia ngomong.
riz: heheheh.. les nendang di mana ya..
julie: it's a known fact that kids are cruel, tapi semoga bisa teratasi dengan baik.
agni: terima kasih, smoga dhanu tetap semangat. nggatau nih, kalo dirunut2 jangan2 masuk ke teori insting manusia, di mana satu kelompok harus mempunyai common enemy supaya tetap bisa bersatu. ini berlaku sejak jaman purba hingga sekarang. sasarannya bisa berganti2, dari satu ke lain obyek.
tita: Thank you. I agree. Besides, they have to get used to the fact that it's alright to be different.
har: dhanu itu lempeng =)) hehe iya ya, semoga seperti umumnya anak2, cepet lupa dan memaafkan. semoga hanya suatu fase di awal semester..
ReplyDeleteTemennya Abel, namanya juga Axel, sama kasar juga. Tapi Abel sekarang udah ga ada masalah lagi sama dia. Si Abel juga terlalu pemaaf, malah Abel sekarang masih suka main sama temennya yang lain yang ternyata premannya TK Bunda Ganesha. Tau tuh, biar suka dimarahin dan berantem kecil sama anak itu, si Abel tetep cuek. I think kids like Dhanu and Abel know how to handle the situation. Asal kita pantau aja sih. Dan satu lagi, kalo anak2 preman itu udah main kasar, anak2 kita jangan suruh diem aja.
ReplyDeleteTa, pasti gak gampang yah kalau posisinya kayak gini. Gua gak tau kudu ngapain krn emang belum pengalaman, haruskah kita (ortu) turun tangan dalam hal ini atau mending tunggu dulu? Tapi kalau kudu tunggu kudu tunggu sampai kapan?
ReplyDeleteWow...bisa gitu ya. Kalo sampe kejadian spt ini harusnya guru segera intervensi (to shut them up & make them think) misalnya dg bilang:"Tau gak anak2, kalo ada orang yg berbhs Indonesia dg aksen yg aneh, itu krn dia punya kelebihan, yaitu bisa berbahasa selain bhs Indonesia."
ReplyDeleteThe Dutch> That's not true that Dutch kill Indonesian, in my home they Love each other, Ibu dan Bapak hehehehhhe
ReplyDeleteFootball Coach> Danu and Bapak need to cut those Famous Footbal Manager pictures such as Capello, Sir Alex, Sven etc and show that to the class, including the Salary Tag hahahahahahah
bullying words kayak gini emang ga sehat banget yah, mesti diselesein secepet mungkin. kasian dhanu, nantinya takut kebawa sampai gede. kadang susah banget ngapus memori jelek waktu kecil. mudah-mudahan dia tetep yakin sama pikirannya dia kalo bener & punya insting bijak buat tiap situwasi kayak ibunyah :P
ReplyDeletejod: good for you, abel! iya nih, sejak di daycare-nya dulu sampe di SD-nya di amsterdam, dhanu selalu dibilang 'terlalu manis', meskipun keliatannya makin gede dia makin bisa membela diri.
ReplyDeletepet: ortu turun tangan jangan langsung ke temen2 si anak :D menurutku, harus langsung diomongin sama orang dewasa yg bertanggung jawab atas anak2 ini selama insiden berlangsung (bisa guru, orang tua lain, atau pengasuh).
rie: hahaha.. salary tag, that's a good one! =))
G: setuju, kalo membekas terlalu dalam, susah ngilanginnya. insting bijak? wadooww :">
iyaaaa..
ReplyDeletehuhuu.. waktu itu gurunya memang berusaha menenangkan, tapi tidak berhasil. abis itu aku cerita ke manager sekolahnya (yg sering ngasih kita tebengan pulang sekolah), dan beliau juga bilang seperti kamu gini..
Kasar bener temen-temennya Dhanu padahal masih kecil.
ReplyDeleteMemang selalu ga enak jadi yang "beda" sendiri. Tapi, kalau bisa ngatasi, hebat banget. Kayaknya mau pergi kemanapun juga selalu bisa menyesuaikan diri.
Ayo Dhanu, bales tendang saja!
So sorry to hear that the history of the Dutch people in our country (luckily I don't know any off them) give your son a hard time :(
ReplyDeletebut remember kids can be so cruell that it even could have been about the clothes he is wearing, the way his hair is cut. He will come stronger out of this, learn how to deal with situations like this!
Hi Tita,
ReplyDeleteHow are you doing in Indonesia?
I'm proud to anounce the birth of our son Milan! He was born on 14-07-07, the estimated date. He was born with a caesarean section because he would not turn his head, for a good delivery. On http://babymilan.web-log.nl you can view pictures and also the image of the anounce-card Peter made. Milan is really very sweet and quiet. We are now slowly getting used to the new schedules in our days. It takes al lot of your energy and sleep but it is worth it.
If you would like to react; please mail to petervdongen@gmail.com or ellendriesens@gmail.com.
Greetings and love from me and Peter!
Hi Ellen, congrats! To Peter and the whole family, too, of course! I've emailed you both and left a comment in Milan's page. So sweet, and what an awesome birth-card! I'll spread the good news to our friends in Indonesia. Take care and wish you great days with the newest member of the family!
ReplyDeleteBenar, benar.. Semoga ini hanya latihan supaya dia bisa makin tanggap dalam memilih sikap, di mana pun dia berada nanti :)
ReplyDeleteThe stigma of Dutch people is actually slowly wearing off our people, although (unfortunately) some adults (even clueless politicians) still hold the sentiment.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree that for these kids it's just another one of those petty reasons to pick on someone. Thank you :)
poor Dhanu....it's always hard to be different. i just hope all of these experiences only strengthen Dhanu's personality... i also hope those kids would learn something from their encounter with Dhanu.
ReplyDeleteAnd then....don't we (some of the Dutch) still have the same problems with the German people...
ReplyDeleteThe "Give us back our bikes" thing? I knew this from my husband :)
ReplyDeleteI do hope so. Thanks Mer :)
ReplyDeleteThis week Dhanu already plays as usual with his classmates. Boys' games, indeed, but they enjoy themselves in the roughness and soil dirt..