Thirty Three Today

Getting up this morning, I brought Lindri (who was already up at around 06:30 as usual) downstairs, to the study. It's always chilly here at my mother in law's house, especially in winter mornings. The day before, snow fell softly and lightly covered the ground; today, only some spots looked white. I opened the internet connection on moeder's PowerBook and went to my mails, with Lindri eating a banana next to me (while fiddling with anything within her reach). Ooh there's a lot of birthday wishes and prayers, from family and friends! Thank you all!

Dhanu came into the study not long after he heard us going downstairs. He gave me some drawings: one from Lindri, and another from himself, picturing a table with a present, wrapped with bows, on it. And a home made card, from my husband's sister and her family (who stayed here as well until yesterday). During breakfast, I got my other presents: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory DVD from Lindri (I haven't seen that one), Akira DVD from Dhanu (adding to our animation DVD collection), and two sets (Seasons 1 & Season 2) of Frasier DVD and a set of pasta plate (including olives, pesto and pasta) from moeder. A present from Sybrand is a couple of concert tickets: we're going to see Sparks in Paradiso Amsterdam, in February! Yaaay! A bit later after breakfast, we had our birthday cake: a chocolate cake, which Lindri likes so much she finished two servings in a go. Dhanu was a bit reluctant to eat it at first, saying that he'll eat his portion "next week", but then grabbed and ate it by hand a moment later.

My birthday has never been a big thing, because it comes between big celebrations: Christmas and New Year. I have never been at school (it's holiday season) so I've never felt the birthday fuss at school. And when we were much younger, this month was when we used to travel to Central Java, to stay at my grandparents' house in Salatiga. There was where I used to celebrate my birthday, usually altogether with a family Christmas event and such. I really do not mind this, since I prefer not to be the center of attention - therefore, especially in the later years, I'd rather use this day to reflect at my passing life and to think about the coming years.

My first thought usually went to my parents, who have delivered me into the world (my mother: "You practically jumped out of my womb - I haven't even properly laid myself down on the maternity bed!"), provided for me and brought me up. Their most valuable gift to me? Their trust and confidence in me, which have led me to where I am now. Then some childhood birthday parties (not necessarily mine) at home, inviting neighbourhood kids and preparing our own kiddie games and making goodie bags (out of manila cartons and colourful crepe papers), and a compulsory home entertainment: cartoons! (my father has an old projector movie player) Then there was my birthday celebration at an orphanage in Salatiga, some birthdays on which I was to wear pretty dresses (with pouting mouth, as shown in our family photo albums). I've noticed myself growing, including habbits that I stopped and attitudes that I keep.
I then thought about my achievements: having my own family, my endless school/research works, and my oh-so-fun, distracting hobby (comics! drawings!). What I would change, what I would improve, what I would leave behind (my extra weight, for instance).

"What do you want for your birthday?" is probably one of the most difficult questions in life, since I still don't know how to answer it, eventhough this predictable question comes every year. OK, when I was 9, going to 10, I asked my father to buy me a bike and I promised never to ask for any birthday present ever again in my life. He bought me that black 'sepeda mini', which I rode to school until my junior high years (until I turned 14 - then I had to ride a bus to go to my senior high school). That was really my last birthday wish, and perhaps up to today I'm still keeping my promise to not ask for anything ever again.
So, everytime that question pops out, I usually reply with, "Thank you, I've had everything", or "World peace", or "A magic wand that can help me finish my dissertation", or "A super power", or something within those lines..

After pondering for a while, I think I've been leading a pleasant life. Moreover, because I am blessed with loving family and friends. What have I done with my life, and what will I make of it? However it is, I am happy where I am. I might not have big ambitions, but I have plans and goals for me and my family in the near future, and I hope to achieve them in due time.


Comicstrip: by Flo. which more or less expressing what I'm about to do if the snow keeps falling..