How did you two meet?

That is a question commonly asked to a couple whom you're just getting
acquainted with. When asked, we usually exchange looks to each other
with inward smiles and answer, "The book!". Indeed, it was a book project that has caused us meeting each other in Bandung, Indonesia, in 1994.



I was in my third year of my university life that year. I remember it
was around the fasting month, for the school was rather deserted,
especially in hot afternoons like that day. I was, as usual, working at
the Industrial Design studios when two persons approached: one was
obviously a guest, another was a student who was showing him around our
faculty (but I forgot who). This student looked relieved to see me,
"Thank goodness you're here, Tita! Please take over and show this guy
around the building! Your English is better than mine!". Welcoming the
break from my school assignment, I agreed to take his place and
accompanied the guest.



I found out that afternoon that his purpose of coming to Bandung was to
gather data and conduct interviews in Indonesia, as a part of a team
who was working on a book about Indonesian culture. His task was
to complete, among others, the chapter about "design" - therefore he
went to our faculty. He had an appointment with our Head of Design
Department who was still at a meeting. While waiting, he was asked to
sight-see around our studios and class rooms.

He still had a lot of people to contact, and I offered my assistance in
making those appointments, considering there's hardly any house keeper
(most likely the one who would pick up the phone) who speaks English.
So that afternoon, after his meeting, he came to our house where I made
phonecalls for him.

I found out more about him; that he works for the Association of Dutch Designers (BNO)
as the final editor of their journal (and, later, also their website)
and that he is also a Project Co-ordinator for the Applied Arts
department of Sandberg Institute
in Amsterdam. So, why not show him my current works and have him
assessed my portfolio? Hee hee. That's actually what I did (his first
comment on my project portfolio was, "A person with this kind of
handwriting usually fits to be a friend"). Then we browsed my
collection of books and discussed them, too.



Several days afterwards I met him once in a while, oftenly accompanying
him to find the house of his sources, whom I know in person. One of
them was a professor whose son was my class mate at the university. I
remembered they were having a serious conversation in the living room,
while I and my friend had a burping contest in the next room (a study).
Now that was embarrasingly hilarious.

The day came when his works in Bandung was finished, and he had to
continue in Jakarta (more interviews, writing and sending reports). In
Jakarta, he had a chance to interview me and a friend of mine (also
from Industrial Design Department) for the book. After he's done with
his work in Indonesia, he had a friend coming from Holland who came to
have a 2-weeks holiday in Bali. He asked his friend to bring books for
me, and she did! Foreign books about "design" were (and are still, I
think) rare in Indonesia, and if available, are very expensive.
So just imagine how much I appreciated the books brought for me!



I spent most of 1995 doing an apprenticeship in a design company
in Germany. We visited each other during the year: once when I visited
my friend Arief (then a student in London) who was doing his
apprenticeship in Delft, once again when he came to Vorhof (the name of
the village in Germany, near Heilbronn, where I stayed) to visit for a
weekend. We were still friends then (I had a steady boyfriend already).


Oh, "the book" was launched at the same year. The title was Belanda-Indonesia 1945-1995: Suatu Pertalian Budaya (Netherlands-Indonesia 1945-1995: A Cultural Link),
published in two languages (Dutch and Indonesian). The contents mainly
told about how the Indonesian and Dutch cultures influenced each other
in various fields of arts: language, performance, dance, theater, film,
fine arts, crafts, design and architecture. It was actually a present
from The Netherlands government to Indonesia on Indonesia's 50th
anniversary. However, it's a pity that something went wrong (with the
printing policy and such), that the book wasn't allowed to be sold in
common bookstores in Indonesia (but in airports or hotels' shops). He
sent a new copy to Germany for me, and of course I rightaway looked for
the sub-chapter that featured my interview. "Hmm.. I don't know..", I
said, commenting on the article, "The flow of the sentences feels
weird". It turned out that the final editor (not him) made it as if I
and my friend were being interviewed at the same time. Oh well.



1996 was mostly filled with my final project. We exchanged news through
letters (yes, postage with real envelopes and stamps - e-mail wasn't
very common then). He even sent me a tape (yes, a cassette, as
CD-burning wasn't so common either) of his band's performance (my
comment, "I wouldn't listen to those songs alone. So depressing.")

February 1998, I departed to Eindhoven to start my Master Program at The Design Academy.
I've never been to Holland before except very quickly during a tour in
1994 and I had no family and friend except him. He kindly offered to
pick me up at Schiphol (really, really early in the morning) and took
me to the Amsterdam Central Station and put me on the right train to
Eindhoven (he lives and works in Amsterdam).



A couple of months after I arrived in Eindhoven, I broke up with my
boyfriend-for-6-years (to borrow a Friendster term, "It's
complicated"). I maintained a friendship relation with my Dutch friend;
he assisted me a lot in my research, especially providing references
and the latest updates about the design world in Holland. Once in a
while he came to my school to be a guest lecturer for the bachelor
class (his youngest brother,
an Industrial Designer, teaches there), and I also went to Amsterdam
occassionally, usually to attend some design events (lectures,
symposium, exhibitions). Since then, things went on naturally.
Mid-1999, he sent a letter (yes, hand-written, eventhough e-mail was
already very common) to my parents, asking their blessings and
permission to marry me. And we did, at the end of 1999. "The book"
itself might not be a big success, but it has played a rather important
role in our life.





image: Cover of "the book"